A Public Apology

"The Lamb of God sits upon the throne
The Lamb of God, who for our lives, gave His own
So what is it now that's got me down inside?
What depths to plunge, what fears to expunge from my soul?"
- The Lonelyhearts Of Lonelyhearts (Michael Edwards)

I feel that an act of confession before men is in order. (Or, I just need to get some things off my chest.) With that in mind, I submit my list of grievances against everything that's bothered me for so long.

I am sorry:

• for not always striving to be the person I know I can be.
• for being dishonest towards the people I care about the most.
  
• for always choosing to take the easy way out and wallow in self-pity.
• for not appreciating all the wonderful gifts that I have been given.
• for thinking of myself instead of working to help bring joy to the lives of others.
• for being irresponsible, and backing out on commitments.
• for not taking up my cross daily and following Christ.
• for blinding myself to the Spirit that "shall lead men into all truth."

Additionally, I apologize:

• to my parents, for the countless hardships I've burdened you with in the past.
• to my siblings, for causing problems and turning my own struggle growing up into your struggle as well.
• to Alicia, for not being able to be the kind of boyfriend you deserved.
  
• to Adam, for losing my grasp on reality and ruining a wonderful friendship.
• to Laura, for not always being a caring and compassionate friend.
• to Dustin, for speaking ill when I should have remembered the times you were there for me.
• to Emily and Mike, for overburdening you with my problems and depression, and failing to see that even having friends like you at all is enough to lift me up.
• to all who I have spurned, rejected, abused, or insulted.
  
• to the Lord my God, for having fallen so many times while trying to find You.

"O my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended You, and I detest all my sins, because I dread the loss of Heaven and the pains of Hell, but most of all because they offend You, my God, who is all-good and deserving of my love. I firmly resolve, with the help of Your grace, to confess my sins, and to amend my life. Amen."

I won't let myself fall in again. I know I can do better than this.