What Happens When I Get Bored

Throwing responsibility to the wind as far as homework is concerned, I've managed to get my mind off of the current state of affairs by putting up a WordPress blog on my friend Cal's server. I love WordPress so far, it's fun to play with.

Update your links and bookmarks if you feel the need to do so:

http://www.seiryuu.org/~joanfart/

All future updates and orders of business will be conducted at the new blog. Word.

Daniel 7:13-14

I've posted this before in the context of another discussion, but this passage always gives me the greatest of hope, even when I'm in despair.

"In my vision at night I looked, and there before me was one like a son of man, coming with the clouds of heaven. He approached the Ancient of Days and was led into his presence. He was given authority, glory and sovereign power; all peoples, nations and men of every language worshiped him. His dominion is an everlasting dominion that will not pass away, and his kingdom is one that will never be destroyed."

It's very easy to completely freak out when painful things happen to you. I've been through that in the past few days, and I know firsthand what kind of twist it can put on the soul. How it can make you want to do things you would never want to do otherwise. It's a painful and terrible experience, both for the one going through the suffering, and for his friends. I'm sorry for anyone I've pained with my plight.

But even in the middle of this confusion and sadness, I know to whom I bend my knee. The One who was given power and glory reigns over me now, and His dominion in my life will not pass away. Pain dissipates in the sheer presence of the Son of Man, "for the Son of Man came to save that which was lost."

I hope that all of you can find the great truth in this passage from Daniel as well.

Fumble

Whoops. I dropped my life.

iTunes, Lift Up Your Weary Head! (Rebuild! Restore! Reconsider!)

Every once in awhile, I like to take all of my MP3s out of iTunes and slowly place them back in, album by album, deleting the music I no longer listen to and making a better effort of organizing the stuff I do enjoy. It's probably a colossal waste of time, but for some reason it's entertaining to me, and also gives me a chance to sit back and relax with some songs I haven't heard in awhile. iTunes 7, unsurprisingly, tends to take even longer to load up than its predecessors on my trusty PC, and is chock-full of extra features that I never intend on using. How about an iTunes Lite, Apple? Pretty-please?

Anyway, in addition to this cleaning, I've been looking for some new stuff to listen to lately. If anybody has anything that they think I'd enjoy, send some recommendations my way. I'll be sure to check them out.

I found a website with basically every album of Final Fantasy music that's ever been released in Japan on it. It's intensely awesome to me, the king of all Final Fantasy dorks. I now have everything from symphonic suites to officially sanctioned Japanese-hair-metal covers of battle themes to an entire CD of Celtic Final Fantasy IV music. Yeah. Celtic. Final Fantasy IV. Music. Only about three or four people that I know will understand the joy I receive from such things as these. The rest of you will wonder why I don't do anything useful with my time.

I've been reading a lot more lately now that there's been a lull in my schoolwork. I tore through rereading The Problem of Pain and The Four Loves last week, and now I'm absorbing a Walker Percy book that Mike loaned me called Lost in the Cosmos. It's a mock self-help book that manages to be simultaneously entertaining and thought-provoking. It also includes a forty-page crash course on semiotics. Can't get much better than that.

Well, back to frittering away my time.

Isaiah

Surely he took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows,
yet we considered him stricken by God,
smitten by him, and afflicted.

But he was pierced for our transgressions,
he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was upon him,
and by his wounds we are healed.

- Isaiah 53:4-5

Man, as a whole, has turned away from God. I think we all know that. But the real kicker is that I myself turn away from God, every day. Each hour I fail to do the things He demands of me, and again and again I find myself up to my neck in sin, clawing for a way into the light. Isaiah predicted my behavior well. It's a destructive, looping process, and I know in my heart that there will be no permanent end to my temptations until I am with my Lord in glory.

The sins of pride, lust, gluttony... These things can be all-consuming to me at times. But when I have my wits about me again, I descend into a kind of chaos. What have I done? Was it not enough for the Lamb of God to be "crushed for our iniquities" on that lonely hill outside Jerusalem? Must I continue to crucify Him daily? Must I, weeping, drive the nails into Him again and again, hoping in the back of my mind that someday He will save me from myself?

"We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way" (Isaiah 53:6). God recognized, even in Isaiah's day, that man had become all but a lost hope, a flock that had lost its shepherd. And even then, He made a promise to us. "The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel—which means, 'God with us'" (Isaiah 7:14). The Lord had always intended to give us the greatest gift that could ever be mustered... the gift of Himself. In a more personal way, He recognized that I would fail to follow Him, and there would be many times that I would turn my back on His love and try to forge my own path in the desert. And knowing these things to be true, He still came down and suffered to the death so that I too could "see the light of life and be satisfied" (Isaiah 53:11). Though I falter every day, His call never ceases: "make straight in the wilderness a highway for our God" (Isaiah 40:3). In the dreary wilderness of my mind, I am demanded to turn my back on sin and forge a straight road through any obstacles that may be in the way, a demand made by the God who has loved me enough to always ask more of me.

As always, my thoughts change from despair to hope. Hallelujah! The Lord has come! I have the strength that I need, always emanating from Him, to turn from the job of executioner of Christ. Instead, I can carry my own cross and be crucified with Him. I, one of the many hopeless causes, have the ability to throw off worries and sins, and die to myself. The great sadness of my shortcomings is being transformed into an even greater glory just by meditating on these things. What better joy can there be than realizing that I have been rescued from the sinking ship of the world?

Slowly but surely, the ever-patient God is molding me into the "new man," the man He knows I can be, the man that He made me to be. "We are the clay, You are the potter; we are all the work of Your hand" (Isaiah 64:8).

A Random Assortment

A colorful array of the many thoughts going through my head at the current moment in time:

• Schoolwork is increasingly difficult for me to do. I need to get some focus.
• God is also hard to focus on when I'm too busy focusing on not doing schoolwork. Oh, the twisted webs we weave for ourselves... I need to always be searching for new ways to see Him in my life, even when I'm ridiculously busy.
  
• The UFO 48-Hour Film Festival screenings went really well. It was awesome to see so many people show up this time around.
• Recording music with Mike is officially one of the best things ever.
• I need to buy a wireless router so my Internet connection doesn't crap out every fifteen minutes.
• The Wikipedia entry for "prayer" starts out like this: "This article is about religious communication with a superior being. For the 2002 rock song by Disturbed, see Prayer (song)."
• I'm really hungry.
• Corey Close is kind of an amazing guy to hang out with.
  
• It'd be sweet to find a church I enjoy in this town, if at all possible. However, Gents' Club is always a blast, and manages to teach me something at the same time. Who would have thought?
• Panera serves absolutely gigantic cups of coffee.
• Speaking of Panera, Joel Manahan is a hilarious person.
• Velociraptor + Kirk Cameron = Velocirapture.
• Lots of tough decisions to make this week. Here's hoping and praying that I'll be able to do my best to "always do what pleases Him."

"All That, A Ring Pop, And A Root Beer Float"

This week has seriously been one of the busiest I've had in college so far. So many exams, papers, quizzes, and pieces of homework due... At least the worst of it is over now, though. It's going to feel so nice to finally relax this weekend. SO nice.

Mike's 21st birthday dinner was really fun tonight. Corey, Steve, Mike, Dustin, Joey, Grant, Emily, and Corey were there. We sat around talking about sweet tea most of the time. And trying to find ways to relate it back to the Bible. Also, Mike had his first "official" beer. I was excited at being present for such a momentous occasion.

Josiah is over right now, and as usual, that means insanity. It's fun to call Tess and try to play cello and flute together over the phone. And pretend to host fake radio shows that are only directed at her. And try to take pictures of the cell phone she's speaking on with the Bone Divas calendar I have. We're really, really sad people. I can tell that because sitting around doing nothing but chatting it up with these two is intensely amusing to me.

I hereby dedicate the next several days to RELAXING, with some studying thrown in for good measure. Perhaps hanging out with some friends as well? Let me know, people.

Analyze my dreams!

I had a really weird, vivid dream this weekend. I was drowning in this really dark, cold lake. All the stars were out above me, way more than I've ever seen in the sky before. Then the archangel Michael appeared in the sky and flew down to me. Don't ask me how I knew it was Michael, it was a dream, nothing makes sense in a dream. (And no, Danielle, I didn't know it was Michael because he had blonde hair and green wings.) He held out a massive, golden scepter and I grabbed onto it. Then he lifted me out of the water and carried me to the shore, and dug the scepter into the ground next to me. He told me that God loved me and that He had saved me, but He had sent His angel to do the work.

It was a really cool dream, the kind that lingers in your mind for a good long while after you wake up. I think it'd make a really cool song, if I could figure out a nice melody and actually be able to write lyrics.

I'll write more later.

I'm tired for now, but my feelings at this current moment in time can be summed up by the following facial expression:


And now for a very busy week.

Thursdays are the best days.

Actually, I don't know about that, but today was pretty awesome. Had my one class, went to Qdoba with Mike, then sat around playing Lego Star Wars for a long time. Reminded me of being in high school and hunkering over video games for hours at a time with friends on the weekends. Then it was off to gents' club... and after that, some late-night insanity with Josiah and Erick.

Emo photo lesson #1: always look hopelessly, needlessly upset.

Josiah took this to an extreme.

Tess also called, so we decided to hang out with her for a little while, which was surprisingly enjoyable, considering she was actually in Texas.

Through the miracle of speaker phone technology, Tess was even able to have her own chair.

Off to the CRU mens' retreat tomorrow. I think it's going to be a good time. I'll be back sometime on Sunday afternoon. Until then... Good night, and good luck.

Thankfulness

It's been a great week so far. It's had its ups and downs, but overall I'm feeling a lot better than I did over the past month. The grace of God is such a wonderful thing. He can take all of my anger and turn it upside-down, into love. I'm so grateful for that cleansing power in my life.

I've gone through great strides over the years to learn more and more about our Lord. But knowing about God and knowing God are two completely different things. Knowing about God is a fine academic endeavor, but being able to see Him working in everyday life, and knowing that you have a relationship with your Creator... Words don't describe it. It is something much stronger than words, infinitely mysterious and marvelously unexplainable. I feel as if I have been changed, really changed. "For the Mighty One has done great things for me—holy is His name" (Luke 1:49). This is what it is like to really be alive, to truly be a man!

I know that it won't always be easy, and I won't always be able to see God working. There are many times that I will stumble and fall, and curse myself for being so blind to the glory. But, unlike before, I can take rest and solace in the unimaginable Good News that I now know firsthand—God saves. When we're at our lowest and we can't pick ourselves back up, Christ pulls us out of the ditch, brushes off our shoulders, and calls for us to return to His work. He is the Comforter, the kind but demanding Father who wants to see His children succeed, and will help them when they fall short of the goal. He is the One who saved me from myself... What else can I do but constantly bow before Him in praise and exaltation for the rest of my days?

All of us are still in the dark in some ways; with heavy hearts, we fall before our Saviour. And I know there are many now who have been lost in the world for so long. Plagued by pride or shame, they stumble blindly in the night, as I have done. But I tell anyone who feels adrift in the life they are leading, never stop searching! Have no fear! The Light of the World will make Himself known in the places you are least expecting Him. Always be willing to peer through the darkness. For "in my vision at night I looked, and there before me was one like a son of man, coming with the clouds of Heaven. . . . His dominion is an everlasting dominion that will not pass away, and his kingdom is one that will never be destroyed" (Daniel 7:13-14). The Kingdom of God is here to stay, and the only thing you have to do is knock at the door. Every knock is answered. I'm living proof.

"Deus Caritas Est"

I find myself growing increasingly frustrated with what I like to call "lake of fire Christianity." Prime examples of this include most contemporary Christian fiction and the group that witnessed on campus last week. These people seem more concerned with beating Christianity into unbelievers than anything else. They think that presenting images of eternal torture and damnation, of an angry and ever-condemning God, are the things that will cause others to follow Him.

I'm not denying that these things are true. Failure to follow Christ will result in being separated from His grace when all is said and done. And, after all, "He commanded us to preach to the people and to testify that He is the one whom God appointed as judge of the living and the dead" (Acts 10:42). I think that C.S. Lewis describes the urgent nature of the faith most eloquently in Mere Christianity:

When the author walks on to the stage the play is over. God is going to invade, all right: but what is the good of saying you are on His side then, when you see the whole natural universe melting away like a dream and something else--something it never entered your head to conceive--comes crashing in; something so beautiful to some of us and so terrible to others that none of us will have any choice left? For this time it will be God without disguise; something so overwhelming that it will strike either irresistable love or irresistable horror into every creature. It will be too late then to choose your side. There is no use saying you will choose to lie down when it has become impossible to stand up. That will not be the time for choosing: it will be the time when we discover which side we really have chosen, whether we realized it before or not. Now, today, this moment, is our chance to choose the right side. God is holding back to give us that chance. It will not last forever. We must take it or leave it.

Obviously there is a lot at stake with witnessing. We aren't just professing our beliefs and leaving it at that... The souls of our fellow men are at stake. This is an undeniable truth.

That having been said, I believe that witnessing can lose its purpose for people, and when it does, they fail to exercise the necessary prowess and skill involved in intelligently presenting the Truth to others. When groups get caught up in the Great Proclamation, in searching for converts not out of love for God and love for fellow man, but only to satisfy a requirement that was handed down to us from on high--well, it is the one of the worst mistakes of all. Any sort of apologist should have a firm understanding of the human heart to which he is speaking, and a strong desire to see that heart turned to Christ. I had a friend during high school that once said to me, "I think I've converted about six people so far this year!" Well, that's well and good, but conversion is not a numbers game. If I can convince even one person to turn to God during my lifetime, I will feel as if I've done a great thing for the Kingdom. Of course I will try to reach out to all of those in need, but always with a heart that is fierce for the Spirit, and eager to work as God's hands in this world.

To quote Lewis again, from Mere Christianity:

People often think of Christian morality as a kind of bargain in which God says, "If you keep a lot of rules I'll reward you, and if you don't I'll do the other thing."

I believe in preaching not a "gospel of rules," but rather a "gospel of love." Certainly there are "rules" involved in Christianity, but we should always be sure that nobody becomes hopelessly entangled in them.

Even if you're not Catholic, I highly recommend reading Pope Benedict XVI's latest encyclical, "Deus Caritas Est." This piece of literature and its explanations of the different types of emotion and their relation to God is a great piece of work. And it helps me to come to a greater understanding of how I would like to witness to people. I want to show people that “God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him” (1 John 4:16). All of the business about judging and damning those who are not in the Light only serves to push people further from God in most situations. As Christians, we should first and foremost keep our minds towards the love and praise of God, and the desire to do good, not only to avoid the flames of Hell, but to express our joy towards the One who has saved us all. Once a relationship can be established with the Lord, removing the various sins and problems that keep us bound to the things of this world will follow naturally. It won't be easy, but God, the Great Love, will help us to find our way. That is what people should be told about Christianity.

Nerdiest. Thing. Ever.

The Red Party at APT 14 was pretty fun last night. But of course, it wasn't good enough to just be normal college kids, try to meet new people, etc. No, me and Mike had to imitate Final Fantasy logos. The results are simultaneously the most hilarious and depressing things in the world to me. Observe:

The original logo.

The imitation.

And Emily's sick concoction.

Needless to say, we need a lot of help.

Other than that, I've been feeling... meh, lately. That's all the farther I'm willing to go with explaining my emotions right now. Anything more would not be prudent at this juncture. LOL

Emily/Matt Photo Shoot 2

Emily and I were bored today, so we went to Taco Bell and the bookstore, where I picked up a few C.S. Lewis books that I never got around to buying. Then we drove out to the windmills on the edge of town and immediately sank back into the photo-taking frenzy of late last summer.

The highlights:

Windmills are sweet.

Emily is saucy.

BFFN! (Best Friends For Now)

And the mother of all emo pictures.

Also, I am currently attempting to download Season 15 of "The Joy Of Painting" on TorrentSpy. Watching Bob Ross paint and talk is one of the best ways in the entire world to soothe yourself to sleep. Only 2.63 GB left to go!

Drowning In The Rising Sea Of Tears (Ocean)

I talked to Judy again last night. She said she hasn't got the results from the paternity test back yet, but I'm sure she's been sleeping around. Sometimes I just don't know what to do with myself. All the crying and hives are really getting to me, it's like I don't even have the strength to put on my make-up in the morning anymore. I know if I put it on, the mascara is just going to run, and that's going to be so embarrassing for me. Life is so hard right now.

But it's ok. I have my two goldfishies. Dashboard and Confessional have kept me afloat. Sometimes I wish I could just be a goldfish and not have to cry all the time, because I'd be in water already. You can't cry in water, can you? I'd probably be just as sad, though. It's all about the emulators, man.

Anyway, I haven't been able to eat lately. I just throw up if I try. Chocolate is always good tho. I swear, I could sit in my room eating chocolate and listening to New Found Glory for hours, crying. Uncontrollably. I like to play with my lighter, too. The timid flame reminds me of my mortal soul. How will I ever keep living to my 16th birthday?!

"I woke up to the cold water of my sheets
Pulling me down into the slumber of a sepia dream
Your face haunts me from the shadows, waxen and cold
I will burn torches until I am old
Now the wafting specter of your ghost remains
Seared like a chemical burn into my brain
Over and over and over and over and over I scream inside
And run and run and run and run and search for somewhere to hide"

"10,000 Watts!"

These guys ruled last night.
(not pictured: Justin Edwards, Ben Lucas, Kevin Cray)

We had our show last night at the Black Swamp, in the Cla-Zel, on the "Peanut Butter & Rock" stage (it was teen-oriented, I guess teenagers really like their peanut butter). I think it went really well. Justin's music sounded fantastic, and although there were evidently some problems with the sound, I think Mike's set was also really good. It wasn't perfect, of course, but everyone has said that it sounded superb, and I had a lot of fun doing it. Definitely an awesome experience.

This weekend was a whole lot of fun. I could give everyone a play-by-play of what happened, but instead I'll simply list the highlights of the experience:

• Lisa and Danielle coming to visit, and all of the hilarity that ensued as a result.
• Meeting CANDYFACE at a party on Friday night. I know that makes no sense. Bear with me.
• Singing songs from The Last Five Years while walking across campus in the middle of the night.
  
• Making fake signs for Lisa and Danielle to hold up during the concert... then taking pictures of them.
• The guy who was running the sound board at the Cla-Zel.
• Chicago (all things go, all things go).
• Meeting Mike's parents. They're both really nice. And evidently his dad reads this blog, so I can feel like I'm at least addressing this bullet point to somebody.
• learning from Mike that playing a shaker = "wanna do it?"
• seeing "Psuedobook" on a sign for the show.
• getting the chance to play cello at Kevin and his fiancee's wedding. I'm pretty excited about that. And Bach, too! There's no Bach like cello Bach.

All in all, it was an immensely fun, if extremely tiring, weekend. And now I have to do a bunch of homework today to make up for the fact that I've been ignoring it since Friday, opting to spend vast quantities of money on fast food in the stead of investing in my education. So I'm going to go do that.

Open inquiry... Is The Pseudobook Podcast Weekly dead? Alive and well? On infinite hiatus? Because I've been wondering about the other possible uses for canned nacho cheese dip for quite some time.

Weekend O' Fun

I was going to start off this entry by recapping my highly disturbing trip to Wendy's last night, but Michael "Steak" Edwards seems to have gotten to it first. Let's just suffice to say that it was... a highly enlightening experience.

This weekend is going to be a blast. Lisa and Danielle are coming up in a few hours (the three angels will be reunited once again!), and then we're heading over to Grant, Mike, and Corey's apartment later for one of the infamous themed parties that this circle of friends is quickly becoming well-known for. Then tomorrow it's band practice, followed shortly by the show at the Black Swamp. It's at 8pm, at the Cla-Zel in downtown Bowling Green, on Main Street. Try to stop by if you're in the mood for a fun (or, worst-case scenario, somewhat amusing) time. I think the show's going to be really good, though. We sounded pretty fantastic last night during practice.

Of course, I have literally mounds of homework that I have yet to do... so I'd better get started on that before everyone gets here and the festivities begin. Even though school is really the thing that's on my mind the least these days, it would probably be smart to put some kind of effort into it so I don't pull a freshman year again.

What would probably happen if I failed any classes.

"Profile Badges"

Taking Facebook's creepiness to a whole new level.

Facebook has officially become a monster. I know that's been the big buzz on the Internet over the past couple of days, so I won't dwell on it too much. Also, this "profile badge" concept has been around since before the giant update earlier this week, but it still amazes me how intent the Facebook Corporation or whoever runs this thing is on ensuring that everyone is jacked into their system. Why would anyone honestly need a "profile badge?" I refuse to use that term without quotations because I feel like I would lose some of my dignity by doing so. But at least now MySpace and Xanga users all over the world can have one more ridiculous banner to add to their growing lists of online quizzes, Flash animations, and low-resolution music videos.

The world is doomed.

Meanwhile, my sister has started a spoken-word LiveJournal, where she writes a bit of prose about her day and then records herself speaking it into a live audio stream that can be heard on her blog. I think it's a pretty cool concept, and I'm interested to hear more of it.

As a final note, I really, really need to quit smoking. Not only do I not have the money to continue the habit, but it's actually slowly killing me! Remind me why I even started in the first place? And no, Emily, it wasn't to impress Mike Robinson.

If only cigarettes were labeled like this in the States.

A Public Apology

"The Lamb of God sits upon the throne
The Lamb of God, who for our lives, gave His own
So what is it now that's got me down inside?
What depths to plunge, what fears to expunge from my soul?"
- The Lonelyhearts Of Lonelyhearts (Michael Edwards)

I feel that an act of confession before men is in order. (Or, I just need to get some things off my chest.) With that in mind, I submit my list of grievances against everything that's bothered me for so long.

I am sorry:

• for not always striving to be the person I know I can be.
• for being dishonest towards the people I care about the most.
  
• for always choosing to take the easy way out and wallow in self-pity.
• for not appreciating all the wonderful gifts that I have been given.
• for thinking of myself instead of working to help bring joy to the lives of others.
• for being irresponsible, and backing out on commitments.
• for not taking up my cross daily and following Christ.
• for blinding myself to the Spirit that "shall lead men into all truth."

Additionally, I apologize:

• to my parents, for the countless hardships I've burdened you with in the past.
• to my siblings, for causing problems and turning my own struggle growing up into your struggle as well.
• to Alicia, for not being able to be the kind of boyfriend you deserved.
  
• to Adam, for losing my grasp on reality and ruining a wonderful friendship.
• to Laura, for not always being a caring and compassionate friend.
• to Dustin, for speaking ill when I should have remembered the times you were there for me.
• to Emily and Mike, for overburdening you with my problems and depression, and failing to see that even having friends like you at all is enough to lift me up.
• to all who I have spurned, rejected, abused, or insulted.
  
• to the Lord my God, for having fallen so many times while trying to find You.

"O my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended You, and I detest all my sins, because I dread the loss of Heaven and the pains of Hell, but most of all because they offend You, my God, who is all-good and deserving of my love. I firmly resolve, with the help of Your grace, to confess my sins, and to amend my life. Amen."

I won't let myself fall in again. I know I can do better than this.

I have a good life.

And I really do. I'm in a contemplative mood right now, but not in a bad way. I think over the course of the summer and now back at school, I've come to realize just how blessed I am by the many great gifts in my life. And even though some things tend to get me down more often than not, the abundance of good things has tipped the scales time and time again lately.

Work for the Black Swamp is continuing, and I'm starting to feel a lot better about it. It looks like we're going to be able to get everything together in time for a good performance. And Lisa (and possibly Danielle!) will be coming up that weekend as well, so it's basically going to be non-stop good times.

Mike and I perfected some songs for the show and also worked on a new one, to be released some day under whatever joint moniker we decide to call ourselves by (I've had to resist the urge to say "LOL WE SHOULD BE CALLED M&M" at least twice today). But in all seriousness, I had forgotten how amazing and interesting it is to compose and perfect music with other people. Just knowing that both of you are in the heart of the song, and are molding something creative and meaningful out of nothing... It's a great feeling, and I love it. It makes me feel like I'm really doing something with my talents, and sharing it with somebody who understands what it's like.

In conclusion, I just want to say that I'm really, really happy that there is now a Chipotle in Bowling Green, OH. Qdoba is going to go down the tubes faster than a one-legged man in a three-legged race. And my life is at least 50% more glorious, just knowing that gourmet burrito goodness is literally right around the corner at all times.

You know you love it.

Existential Ramblings (not really)

Well, my plan for the weekend has kind of worked out so far. I did manage to get a bit of the way through The Scarlet Letter. But, Grant invited me over to Crunk Manor, so I went over and hung out with him, Mike, Alex, Steve, etc. for awhile. There's nothing quite like sitting around listening to Sufjan Stevens with a few of your closest friends. I also won the "Is it cancer of the mouth or cancer of the bone in Casimir Pulaski Day?" debate. But to be fair, "mouth" is a rhyme that's present in the song. Yeah.

Then I came back to my apartment to read some more and get some sleep, but Mike called and wanted to hang out, and I graciously agreed since that's usually a fun time. We ended up sitting around playing GameCube until after 4:30am. I don't think I've ever existed in more of a half-asleep state with anyone else in my life. But, it was still damn good times.

And now today is (srsly) devoted to homework and practicing more keyboard parts for the 9th. Also, I may have to go ahead and sell Xenosaga I and II to C&C Games today. I mean, the first one is good IMHO (lol), but the second one, frankly, bites. It's not a terrible game or anything, but it's just surprisingly unfun to play in almost every way. I guess I can just read a FAQ or something to figure out what happens in the storyline. Of course, both of those games aren't going to get me more than, like, ten dollars at the most, but that could be enough to buy something interesting for my nerdy video game posse (Erick/Mike) to play.

But the real question of the day is... Dare I get back into WoW? Am I ready to put myself through that kind of blissful torture again?

LOL BL0G 3NTRY

I've been asked to play keyboard/sing harmonies in a band for my friend during the Black Swamp Arts Festival in a few weeks.

Hopefully I'll be able to learn all the parts and such in time.

And, for the sake of having something to say, my weekend is going to be spent doing homework, playing video games, and settling down with a nice cup of coffee and The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne. And maybe something from Piaget. kbye.

Blogging.

So, it's back to blogging for me, now that the new school year has started up. Except I think I've decided to permanently disassociate myself from Xanga (save posting comments for my friends), mainly because of how asinine that entire online community has become. I'm a high-class individual, and only high-class blogging will suit my purposes! I mean, yeah, I probably won't get any comments on Blogspot, but that's okay. This is more just to amuse myself anyway.

Classes have been time-consuming, but easy so far this semester. Four hours of class in a row on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday may have been pushing it a little bit. But at least I can stay up semi-late those nights, which is always a plus. I've been spending most of my free time slowly unpacking my apartment, sitting in front of my computer for hours, playing video games, and hanging out with Emily and Mike Edwards (the latter of which is indirectly responsible for the fact that my AIM buddy icon is now a picture of a basketball). However, it's good to see everybody again, especially the good ol' UFO crowd.

Living in an apartment is a lot different than living in the dorms. It doesn't feel like I'm really going to college anymore, per se... I mean, yes, I attend classes and do homework and everything. But really, it just feels like I'm living in small-town America. But don't get me wrong. I'm not complaining about this at all. It's nice to be out of the hectic dorm life and on to something a little bit more adult. And also, nobody will vomit or urinate on my sink this way.

Really, life continues without any major obstacles, save my own mind bringing up existentialist questions at inappropriate times (i.e., during class when I should be paying attention and being productive). That's not difficult to handle, though. And I have a feeling that this year is going to be the best one at BGSU yet.

"Do you know if Keith got out okay?"

I picked some new colors for this, but I'm horrendously bad at figuring out if things match, so feel free to tell me if this doesn't look swell. At least I didn't put bright yellow font on a neon-blue background or anything migraine-inducing.

I can't decide if I should start up WoW again or not, so I need some persuading. Somebody persuade me. I'll be pulling 18 credit hours at school next semester, so I'm not sure how much time I'll actually have... But I still need convincing. Because, WoW. And yet, school. And yet, WoW. Life is so difficult.

Lisa put in some Arrested Development today to watch while we ate lunch, and it reminded me how much I miss that show, and how unfair it is that FOX had to go and cancel it. I mean, granted, it got abysmally low ratings and I'm surprised that they kept it on for as long as they did... but still. I will always miss G.O.B. and George Michael like whoa.

Shortly I will be going on my first downtown Memphis adventure. Wish me luck.

Disaster Report = Best Game Ever?

I strongly urge everyone to play Disaster Report for the PS2. Although at first glance it may seem to be a good idea gone horribly awry and plagued with terrible localization problems, it really becomes more and more exciting as you continue playing.

Actually, that's a complete lie and I fell asleep on the couch last night watching Lisa and Amy play it. But it's still amazing, even if it is in that campy, B-movie kind of way.

For starters, your main character gets to do things like wear a hard-hat and sunglasses, and also die a lot for no apparent reason. Not enough for you? Enter the mysterious Karen, some random woman that you'll find trapped inside a subway car on a bridge (?) and who accompanies you on your quest. She's weird, she's kooky, she screams a lot, and her name randomly changes to Kelly on at least one occasion because I suppose the translators couldn't be bothered to remember what they named the little bitch. Really, Karen/Kelly should be enough for any hardcore gamer to run out to their nearest video game retailer and purchase this game immediately, but if you're not convinced yet, there is also Greg. Greg likes to take pictures of things, whether those things be giant water pipes or dying people.

Here is a particularly amazing conversation from the game, which should convince everyone of its utter amazingness in all respects.

Karen: "So what do you do for a living?" (Note - She has already been told this.)
Keith: "Oh, I'm a news reporter."
Karen: "You don't look like a news reporter."
Keith: "What's that supposed to mean?"
Karen: "Here's a map of the city!"

WOW.

All of these things are a recipe for an amazing gaming event. Go buy Disaster Report today. You won't regret it.

OMFG MEMPHIS 2K6

I am currently in Memphis, Tennessee. SO HORRAY FOR THAT.

We've been spending the week mixing drinks, playing euchre and Lunch Money, watching BBC America, geeking out about Flash, and visiting creepy places like Fort God. Also, I was fortunate enough to go see the GIANT REPLICA OF LADY LIBERTY HOLDING A CROSS IN HER HAND INSTEAD OF A TORCH. It was either the best or the worst thing ever, I haven't decided yet. Memphis rules.

Tonight it's Project Runway with Amy, Lisa, Meej, and Reagan. (I don't know if Mike is a Project Runway fan, so he will likely just play WoW for an hour). Then it's out to dinner tomorrow night, and AMAZING TUNICA TRIP on Saturday. I mean, Little Vegas on the border of Mississippi, where booze is free and you can smoke inside. It's going to be hot.

Oh yeah, I've also learned that Paul Weller is kind of the best person ever this week.

Begin To Hope

Every once in a great while, somebody comes along and manages to completely change my outlook on life with one or two little conversations. It's like having the best day of your life ad infinitum when you're surrounded by a few of your best friends. Even if they seem like odd choices to other people, I wouldn't give any of them up for the world.

And so the summer chapter continues.

School = OVAH

Back home for the summer!

Had fun yesterday in Dayton doing stuff for work and hanging out with a few kids.

It's so nice not having classes!

Melissa Joan Fart.

Oh man. Spamalot is so great.

Had a good Easter weekend. I went to see "Thank You For Smoking" with Emily, Amy, and Daniel on Friday evening, which was an amazingly good time. Then I lounged around with my siblings and had a few Easter egg hunts on Sunday. And by that, I mean that my cousin chased me around the yard for half an hour trying to mug me for my eggs.

Less than three weeks until the end of school! And then I'll be off to sunny Centerville for a fun-filled summer stuck in the photo lab of the Wal-Mart on Wilmington Pike, with any luck. I have an interview Thursday that I have to drive all the way down to Dayton for, and hopefully I'll get the job.

Corey Close has brought me to the light by informing me that the phrase "Melissa Joan Fart" will never not be funny.

Mini-Entry.

Not studying enough for tests sucks. At least I still have good grades.

I'd write more, but I'm currently in a coma induced by The Flaming Lips. Everybody listen to my last post, and also go buy The Soft Bulletin. The best $12 I've ever spent, without a doubt.

Hotttt List.

Hmm... Not much to say. Lots of schoolwork, but life is still great. Had the 48-Hour Film Festival last weekend and it was a total blast. Lots of people made the Hot List. Oh, and I found boxed sets of Xena: Warrior Princess online for only $30 each. Matt's giving himself a little early Christmas present. Also, Chuck's prom is this weekend, and I'm taking my sister. Trashy-glamorous siblings? Yes, please.

Oh, and At War With The Mystics is awesome. Go buy it. Now.

We're In For The Long Haul...

The next six weeks' worth of classes is going to be a bitch. Papers, speeches, exams... It's maddening knowing that the end of this school year is so close, and yet there's still so much work left to do. Summer is going to be an awesome break from all of this.

I really have nothing to complain about, though. Schoolwork is a necessary evil in the college world, and everything else is going splendidly. I have amazing friends and have been having a lot of great times with them. My songwriting is going better than ever. I've finally gotten a chance to dig my teeth into Dragon Quest VIII (which is amazing and totally worth the buy, for any hardcore RPG fans out there). And warmer weather is just around the corner.

Life is good.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

There is a time for everything,
and a season for every purpose under heaven:

a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,

a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,

a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,

a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,

a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,

a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

Back from SPRING BREAK!!!

People that I hung out with over spring break, in chronological order:

Danielle Horn
John Hall
Dan Noll
Nick Simmons
Sean Barry
Dustin Meadows!
Jarod Baker
Emily Berens
Jenny Huelsman
Marie Linn
Max Eberle
Daniel Crooke
Michael Berens
Yuki Ujima
Neko Case

Are all of these people amazing? Of course.

I had the chance to talk to and hang out with a lot of my friends that I haven't seen in quite a long time, which was a great pleasure. And of course, going to see Belle & Sebastian and The New Pornographers in Louisville, KY with Emily was definitely the highlight of the year so far. I also snagged a copy of B&S's new album, The Life Pursuit, which has brought me a great deal of happiness.

Not the ideal venue, but still an amazing time.

Also, please ignore any comments from Ms. Emily Berens concerning fajitas. Good day.

SPRING BREAK!!!

Home for the next week... and for the last time. We're moving out soon for a wonderful, shining beacon known only to us as Springfield. It's been a great six years here, but I'm excited for the family to be moving to a new place, even if I won't even be living there the vast majority of the time.

This week is devoted to writing and formulating ideas for SMF, reading the four books I've been wanting to get to ever since the beginning of the semester, playing some video games, watching TV/movies, and occasionally geeking out with Lisa. Nothing quite like kicking back for a week.

Oh, next Thursday I'm going to see The New Pornographers and Belle & Sebastian in concert with Emily in Louisville. It's going to be the hottest thing ever. Me and Neko Case are going to have sex on-stage right in the middle of a song. And then we're going to have a shotgun wedding and get wasted off three-dollar bottles of Chardonnay. It's going to be great times.

On an ending note, last night was amazing.

Chilling at the table after the party thinned out.

Chuck x Erica x Matt OT3!!!11

Dustin thinks I look like a creepy child in this picture.

Memphis!

Ahhh... Nothing like being home, even if it's only for a night. Tomorrow morning it's off to Memphis to see some of the SMF kids and watch Lisa's sister in Jesus Christ Superstar! It should be an amazingly fun adventure, because I am an eternal lover of road trips. Also, the opportunity to introduce some new people to the glory known as Phantasmagoria is undeniably awesome in every way.

One more week with a few exams and a paper due, then it's Spring Break, which will mostly be consumed by packing, since my parents are now officially moving to Springfield. Although I'm more than welcome there for the summer, I'm considering possibly moving to the middle of nowhere in Ohio for no apparent reason, just for a change of pace. Any ideas on that one, kids?

Oh, Google.

Well, I thought it was funny, at least.

Also, Daniel Crooke = This guy's hero.

Demands Have Been Made

Langen told me to update. Good idea...

I'm amazed by the fact that, mostly, we all have 10 fingers and 10 toes. That's about it for now. Oh, and Emily is basically the best person to talk to about anything, ever. Although Langen is pretty close as far as randomly ranting goes. Marie is also hawt. Okay.

A Week In The Life

Pretty uneventful week, except for all the schoolwork. Had a speech on Friday in IPC that I got way too nervous about beforehand for some reason. Also took a Weather and Climate test that I was sure I was going to fail... I ended up getting a 91% on it. Glad that all turned out well.

Friday night Danielle drove up from Ada, and we sat around drinking Smirnoffs in my room with Dustin, Corey, and Mike... Good times. And today I've just sat around listening to music and working on government homework. Erick came over and we watched Grizzly Man, an amazing documentary that everyone should see. It's repeating on the Discovery Channel for the next week or so, so be sure to check it out. You won't be disappointed.

Other than all of that, life continues to be pretty boring, but never in a bad way. I'm just looking forward for warmer weather, and more specifically, the summertime. Even though I know I'll be itching to get back to school by the end of August, right now I can still think about holding a full-time job and enjoying the beautiful summer days and feel excited about it. There's something really awesome about not having to worry about assignments for school, about being able to leave all the problems from work at the end of the day and come home for some nice relaxation.

Pocahotass

I saw The New World in Maumee tonight with Erick, Peter, and Emily. It was an experience that impressed me on a lot of levels. I highly recommend it.

Hey Pocahontas. What's Algonquin for "jumponit?"

Today Is "The Empire Strikes Back Quote Awareness Day!"

Leia Organa: "I'd just as soon kiss a Wookiee."
Han Solo: "I can arrange that. You could use a good kiss!"

Be sure to spread your favorite quotes around in celebration of this great holiday.

I saw Dancer In The Dark last night at the UFO screening. It was one of the most moving and emotional films I've seen in a long time. I highly recommend it to anybody who's in the mood for such a thing... I certainly got a lot out of it. I can't wait to see Lars von Trier's other films. Oh yeah, and Björk is hot.

Emily and I are going to see a Belle & Sebastian concert in Louisville, KY over spring break. If anybody else feels like coming, just let me know!

I skipped my Weather and Climate class today because the homework that was due made absolutely no sense to me. I hate missing out on points becuase the teacher doesn't know how to explain a concept effectively. Well, it's either that, or I was just too dumb to understand. I mean, Langen got it fine when he took the class...

I forgot to mention earlier that High School Musical was a pretty amazing DCOM (Disney Channel Original Movie). People singing about how much singing sucks is pretty amazing to behold.

And now, since my refund check just came in today, I'm off to spend most of it on Madonna merchandise and needless visits to Qdoba.

Recommendations

Everyone should read Facing East From Indian Country by Daniel K. Richter. It gives a fascinating look into the Native American side of European conquest through the eighteenth century.

Also, everyone should listen to Belle & Sebastian. Dear Catastrophe Waitress is simply a great album, and I've been hooked on it since I first heard it a few days ago. Be sure to check it out, you won't be disappointed.

Emily Berens is the only person who regularly reads this. Which is pretty amazing.

The B.P.O.

All quiet on the home front. Classes continue, homework continues... It's the college way!

I recorded my own cover of Complicated by Avril Lavigne. It's really frightening. But really, would you expect anything less from The Brian Peppers Orchestra? Let me know if you want a copy or anything.

Today is devoted to reading the 200+ pages I have to peruse for my various classes. Hmm. That's about it.

iTunes Meme

My weekends have been consumed by the neverending story of homework that constitutes college life. In my spare time, I've been practicing ukulele and listening to a lot of new music from the Rodgers kids. God bless The Flaming Lips.

I thought this seemed amusing, so I viciously stole it from Emily's Xanga. Now you too can explore my taste in music through meaningless iTunes statistics. Enjoy.

Total Songs: 2340

Sorted By Song Title...
First Song: "En Gallop" by Joanna Newsom (The Milk-Eyed Mender)
Last Song: "Zen" by Attack Haus

Sorted By Time...
Shortest Song: "Exit Stage Right" by Badly Drawn Boy (About A Boy Original Soundtrack) - 0:21
Longest Song: "1/1" by Brian Eno (Ambient 1: Music For Airports) - 17:21

Sorted By Album...
First Song: "Have You Seen My Baby?" by Randy Newman (12 Songs)
Last Song: "Hang" by Matchbox Twenty (Yourself Or Someone Like You)

Top Five Most Played Songs...
1. "Mamma Mia" by ABBA (Gold) - 88 times
2. "Nothing Fails" by Madonna (American Life) - 50 times
3. "When You're Next To Me" by Mitch & Mickey (A Mighty Wind Original Soundtrack) - 48 times
4. "Here Come The Warm Jets" by Brian Eno (Here Come The Warm Jets) - 33 times
5. "I Am Richard Burton" by LAMPS - 24 times

First Song That Comes Up On Shuffle: "Magic Carpet Ride" by Steppenwolf

How Many Songs Come Up When You Search For...
"sex?" - 2
"death?" - 5
"love?" - 86
"you?" - 220

Oh, Bowling Green.

I managed to find all of my classes today, despite our online scheduling system's big crash. I had to wing it off of what I remembered from registration. It was like Where's Waldo, only minus the fun. Not that Where's Waldo was ever really fun to begin with.

Tomorrow I will be putting my name in ink on an apartment lease with the one and only Erick Carlson. Our lives will never be the same.

And hopefully tomorrow, Peter and I will be making some recordings for my debut album on piano, including the hit song "Joyce, Joyce, Joyce, Joyce, Joyce (You Make Me Smile)" featuring Emily "E. Bizzle Stat!" Berens on ukulele. Peter is a genius at everything. Without him, there would be nothing in the world to entertain me. His lyrics, especially, are phenomenal, as you will all soon hear for yourselves.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed for Dustin to play me GONDOR THE CONDOR, but I don't think it's happening anytime soon. Which both makes my day and ruins it at the same time.

In conclusion, things are basically back to normal at BG. I leave you with this marvelous snapshot in time from winter break:

There's something really funny about pretending to be wasted.

To whom it may concern (this means you, Dustin):

As we all know, Green Day uses an annoying guitar pedal effect on their hit single "Boulevard Of Broken Dreams." Now, you may be inclined to think that Green Day is the inventor of such an off-putting effect. However, as I noticed last night, said effect can also be found in "What's The Frequency, Kenneth?" by R.E.M., as well as Brian Eno's "Here Come The Warm Jets." Therefore, we are forced to recognize the annoying guitar pedal effect as a valid musical device. However, it's still okay to hate Green Day, if you are so inclined.

Love,
Matt

Back To School

Sitting around at home is fun and everything, but school makes me feel like I'm actually doing something with my life other than listening to Madonna all day long. So, I'm looking forward to going back in a few days.

Speaking of Madonna, I've managed to partially convert somebody to the glory. Now I'm not the only one I know who enjoys a track from American Life.

I've been in a movie-watching mood lately, so I'm going to be raiding everyone's DVD collections when we get back to BG. Consider yourself warned.

Chipotle tonight with Lauren. I'll miss it when I leave on Sunday...

And now, back to the tunes.

Dublin <--> Dayton

Today Emily and I toured the sites of Dublin and then came back to Dayton to eat at Nothin' But Noodles and hang out with her friend and her brother. There's nothing better than pretending to hit on 15-year-old girls in the Oakwood Starbucks. God, I'm creepy.

So I've been told I have to put six random/weird facts about myself on my Xanga. I don't usually engage in such behavior, but I guess I'm willing to make an exception just this once for you, Laura...

1. I live in a town that features such rare treats as a field of cement corn and an extremely, abnormally-large statue of three dancing bunnies.
2. I have an obsession with an insane, harp-playing elf.
3. I bring my Nintendo DS almost everywhere I go. Yeah, I'm lame.
4. I have plans of starting up a band of dueling ukeleles with Emily. Yes, for serious. We're going to write songs about all of the people we're obsessed with, like our dormitory's custodian, and Brian Peppers.
5. I enjoy watching Disney original movies, like Gotta Kick It Up! and Luck Of The Irish.
6. I'm hopelessly addicted to my computer. I can't go a day without checking my e-mail, catching up on AIM conversations, and reading people's Xangas. It's sad, really.

Sorry that list sucked so much, but it's 2:30 in the morning, so you can't expect the world out of me. Anyway, now I'm supposed to tag six more people to complete this survey, but I don't really know any people who haven't done this already at some point, so I'm going to end the chain now before things get too out of hand and Xanga explodes from the influx of random list posts.

Ciao.

Happy New Year's!

Yes, I realize I'm a day late.

My New Year's resolution is to work on becoming a better person. That's intentionally vague, so I don't have to taste the bitterness of disappointment as the year goes on.

If you made a New Year's resolution, post it here. If you didn't, make one up. Preferably something that involves treating your good friend Matt like the royalty he secretly is.